I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's just like the Real World with babies
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
