Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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