So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize
