so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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