If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
