Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
