That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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