He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is Oprah even human
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
