We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize