if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
