No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
