yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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