I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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