dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
