Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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