he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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