Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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