Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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