saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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