I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
