Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
