he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
