i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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