You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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