At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think I am morally bankrupt
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
