Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
