Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
