I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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