woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
