this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
