the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
