Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
