shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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