His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
