The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am one with the molecules
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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