the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
