dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
