He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Pooping to opera.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
