fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize