we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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