I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So much rum. So many feels.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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