i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
