Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  We've been saying that since '98

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  (917): I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out (1-917): We've been saying that since '98 http://tfl.nu/9f56
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

  (954): View more from Florida

  Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

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  (954): He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?" (954): Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall. http://tfl.nu/238l
  Replies (15) Good night (812) Bad night (2947)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2508) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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  (716): Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed. http://tfl.nu/65fd
  Replies (14) Good night (1060) Bad night (3195)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole

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  (678): better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole http://tfl.nu/f6uw
  Replies (4) Good night (3793) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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  (410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m
  Replies (15) Good night (4685) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

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  (910): Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically. http://tfl.nu/2hl3
  Replies (33) Good night (4231) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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  (+66): A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure http://tfl.nu/u013
  Replies (24) Good night (6942) Bad night (1875)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants

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  (425): Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants http://tfl.nu/y64s
  Replies (7) Good night (1584) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?

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  (702): Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid? http://tfl.nu/2txb
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1080) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

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  (507): Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it http://tfl.nu/9eeg
  Replies (0) Good night (728) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.

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  (906): Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle. http://tfl.nu/e62g
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.

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  (914): Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome. http://tfl.nu/yvgu
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life

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  (615): hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life http://tfl.nu/rfd4
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (241)

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