He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
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We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.