I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil