Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  But, it would have made life so much easier...

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  (857): I'm glad girls dont get visible erections (617 ): But, it would have made life so much easier... http://tfl.nu/zuky
  Replies (27) Good night (3472) Bad night (610)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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  (817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5
  Replies (27) Good night (879) Bad night (5587)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.

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  (443): I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/l068
  Replies (25) Good night (1469) Bad night (6750)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21431) Bad night (1462)
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  (951): View more from California

  Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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  (951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j
  Replies (31) Good night (6898) Bad night (1310)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?

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  (+44): can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant? http://tfl.nu/3x8e
  Replies (5) Good night (3769) Bad night (968)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.

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  (315): i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night. http://tfl.nu/xhhx
  Replies (12) Good night (1522) Bad night (2814)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

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  (402): We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends." http://tfl.nu/n1yw
  Replies (5) Good night (1446) Bad night (2356)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people

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  (604): You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people http://tfl.nu/m3p8
  Replies (11) Good night (3706) Bad night (1119)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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  (563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (2778)
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  (353): View more from

  I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.

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  (353): I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina. http://tfl.nu/ajvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (445)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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  (214): How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk. http://tfl.nu/tw8m
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.

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  (406): Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'. (901): I want there to be fog machines and unicorns. http://tfl.nu/0ciy
  Replies (1) Good night (963) Bad night (722)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (655) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u

  (815): View more from Illinois

  U act like I can cum on command

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  (309): I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u (815): U act like I can cum on command http://tfl.nu/wvuj
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (295)

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