I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.