Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  People in love make me want to vomit

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  (609): People in love make me want to vomit http://tfl.nu/3x4v
  Replies (34) Good night (1764) Bad night (2780)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

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  (732): i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away http://tfl.nu/d57a
  Replies (40) Good night (4811) Bad night (3184)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6776) Bad night (1116)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

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  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5862) Bad night (1120)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.

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  (226): I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/6j12
  Replies (20) Good night (4730) Bad night (1675)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

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  (206): No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher. http://tfl.nu/9rva
  Replies (9) Good night (4762) Bad night (1278)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.

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  (412): he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/72dk
  Replies (15) Good night (3125) Bad night (927)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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  (612): Going to get a "plan B"urrito http://tfl.nu/muvk
  Replies (7) Good night (3208) Bad night (1453)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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  (708): Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday! http://tfl.nu/a9dm
  Replies (8) Good night (2473) Bad night (818)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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  (703): if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless http://tfl.nu/r1y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (691)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.

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  (519): Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight. http://tfl.nu/qnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (1618) Bad night (723)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.

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  (617): So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan. http://tfl.nu/ggx4
  Replies (11) Good night (1562) Bad night (590)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How's the hangover?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.

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  (337): How's the hangover? (1-337): I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should. http://tfl.nu/4fpy
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (577)
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  (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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  (714): She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick (1-714): Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/q4sd
  Replies (3) Good night (1554) Bad night (406)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

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  (215): You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected... http://tfl.nu/3okc
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (298)

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