it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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