Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
