dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
