I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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