I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
