wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.