whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
