WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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