I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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