I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
