dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
