Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
