He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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