he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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