Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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