Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
